life currently

Yesterday i saw the doctor. i’ve been waiting to see her again for three months, and i’ve been simultaneously dreading and looking forward to this day. Worried she’d tell me that i had nothing to worry about, but hopeful she had some answers for my ongoing pain.

She has an amazing bedside manner, and i felt instantly at ease. Doctors like that are much easier to talk to. i’m lucky, that’s for sure.

Surgery is the next step. i’ve been waiting for this. Eager, almost. In the past year i feel like thorns have taken up residence in my stomach, and even the slightest wrong move can send shooting pains through my body. This past week i spent a lot of time in bed, fighting off a fever. Internal bleeding does that to you.
i’m looking forward to having the adhesions removed. Not excited about the lifetime of repeated surgery i have ahead of me, but i’m hopeful about new treatments that can help me lead a normal life. It’s about time. i was getting tired trying to convince doctors that my pain wasn’t imaginary.

i saw my therapist this week as well. She’s very gentle with me. Therapy has been incredibly beneficial to me. It has opened my eyes and given me tools to deal with tough situations. i can deal with my anxiety much better now. It’s nice having someone rooting for you. ❤

This is Rufus, my mini cucumber plant! Yes, it’s all named Rufus.


He still needs some pruning and i need to get him something to climb on (and a bigger pot), but he’s doing amazing so far. i’ve spent a good time researching how to properly grow cucumbers indoors, and that was interesting for sure. Some people are..passionate about growing plants indoors.


The trees are changing colors and it’s been cool these past few weeks. i’m not a huge fan of winter, but i love proper autumn weather. i like walking at dusk and enjoying the smell of cold earth mixed with the salty ocean breeze.



My boyfriend and i have been watching Westworld, and i’m eagerly awaiting this weeks episode. i wasn’t hooked by the first episode, but i was definitely intrigued by the second episode. It’s an interesting and original take on the future of humanity. i highly recommend it. Usually the wild west and sc-fi don’t mix, but in Westworld they blend together beautifully. The poster is eye catching as well, that’s for sure.



This past week was political hell, as we all know by now. i’m not surprised with what was said, and i’m not surprised people have jumped to Donald’s defense. i spent nearly two years in a backward southern town, dealing with the exact kind of people who love Donald. The kind of people who think rape jokes are funny and then wonder why sexual assault is so prevalent. The kind of people who claim to be for equality between the genders, and then turn around and mock serious issues and silence victims. Rape culture is a real problem, since last i knew Donald was somehow still qualified to run for president. i do have some thoughts on what he said, summed up in a picture with two words:



In other, much lighter news, i’m almost 25. Oh my, haha.


Two more months! i’m not sure how i feel about getting closer to thirty, but time waits for no man, so i’m looking for a good German chocolate cake recipe. i love making my own birthday cake, and this year is no exception.
Mmm, i can almost taste it now.

i’ve had a few songs on repeat, one of them being Tove Lo’s brand new song (brand new as in it literally just came out yesterday!) True Disaster. i unashamedly love Tove Lo. i know all her songs by heart, and i plan on buying her albums as a birthday gift to myself. i’ll make it easy for you to listen and love it yourself. 😉


Happy Friday!


One thought on “life currently

  1. I’m glad you’re scheduled to get surgery.

    🙂 I just got back from a walk, and I really enjoyed the woodsy smell. It’s beautiful here now.

    I needed to get out. I had completely fallen apart after finding out my family is still supporting Trump after the horrible news that has come to light, and they know I’ve been sexually assaulted. I don’t even know now whether I want to ever talk to them again. 😦


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