How to get over an ex

We’ve all been here. It’s difficult, yes. But with a little bit of work and these few tips, you should get over that girl easily!

1.) Stop stalking her on social media.
This seems to be a no brainer, but sometimes the temptation is overwhelming, so you end up blocking her and then unblocking her on Facebook every two days. You’re confusing the poor girl. One week she can see photos you tagged her in years ago, and the next she can’t find entire albums! It took her a second to figure out what was going on, but she knows now, and it makes you look like a little bitch.

Don’t visit her blog every few days at 2 in the morning, going over and over her posts, especially that one with her photo in it. She more than likely has a tracker on her blog, so why risk it? Plus, it just makes you look like – you guessed it! – a little bitch.

2.) Take a step back and think about who you were as a partner.
Did you let your friends bully her and you, and then did you defend them? Did you not have your own brain, and had to run to mommy and daddy for everything? Did you claim to care about social change, but continue to cave to peer pressure and be an asshole? Did you make excuses for assholes who were – and definitely still are – using you? I could see how that would be a bit of an issue in any relationship. It’s difficult to be your own person when you’re still attached to mommy’s/female friend’s apron strings.

3.) Stop thinking she misses you.
The only time she thinks of you is when she sees you’ve been on her blog again. She didn’t cry after she broke up with you. She completely forgot when your birthday was – was it March or April?
Never fall into the trap of nostalgia. I can guarantee she doesn’t. She remembers very, very clearly all the times you fucked her over. She remembers her diploma being stolen, her shit hatefully tossed into boxes. Her valuable childhood mementos treated like trash because you are still suckling at mama’s tits and she fights your battles for you.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking she has even sort of amicable feelings towards you. Don’t think absence made her heart fond again – it didn’t.

She’s changed, boy. She’s not that innocent young girl anymore. You were lucky to get her in the beginning. She was always out of your league. She’s a goddess, and you never deserved her. That’s why you lost her. Suck it up and move on. I’m sure there is some girl with low self esteem who will put up with you and your friend’s crap.

Now, go on and cry to your friends about what a terrible person your ex is. Maybe you could give out the right address out this time? Gotta make sure the person who threatened her has the correct location this time (God it would suck if your ex filed a police report, amirite?).

A special song, just for you. ❤

 

 

What Does PTSD feel like?

I’m alone in the house. My boyfriend is out running errands. I’m sitting at the computer, studying. The front door is open. I’m aware of the trees in the wind, the sound of a leaf blower down the road. I feel mildly uncomfortable, but I’m focusing on studying. I turn my attention back to the computer, but I am constantly aware of the open door. It’s a nagging itch in the back of my head.
I’m getting antsy. My shoulders are tense, and I can feel the beginnings of a headache. I notice the breeze from the open door, but it makes me even more uncomfortable. The outside is invading the inside – my safe space, the place where my mind is at rest. I decide to get up and get a knife. I keep it on the desk in front of me as I continue to study. A few minutes later, the uncomfortable feeling has turned unbearable. I keep imagining someone barreling through the door, determined to hurt me. My heart starts to race, and I feel clammy. I have to get up to close the door. I get up, run over to the door, and slam it shut. I lock the main lock and the dead bolt, then sit back down and continue to study, my fears relieved. 

                                                                         ~~~

The grocery store is packed, even early in the morning. I get up as early as possible to avoid the crowds, but sometimes it’s unavoidable. I keep close to my boyfriend as we quickly grab what we need. We’re halfway to the register when my boyfriend stops short.

“Oh, we forgot the eggs. Can you grab them?”

My chest feels tight. I nod, but I want to say no, run into the bathroom, and never come out. I turn around, lift my chin up, and march back to the refrigerated section. Faking confidence makes me feel confident, and I keep my eyes focused on the path ahead of me. I feel like everyone has their eyes on me as I walk past the makeup aisle. I stop short at the produce section – a woman turned the corner without looking. She apologizes, but I hurry past her. The eggs are the only thing on my mind. My heart is pounding in my chest. 
The dairy aisle is empty, except for a guy. He’s minding his own business, but I am filled with dread. I remind myself where I am, and what I’m here to do. The eggs. I grab them, make sure they’re not cracked, and hurry back to the register. 

                                                                            ~~~

We’re watching TV. I made the mistake of not checking to see what was in the movie, and an upsetting scene comes on. I freeze. My brain feels like it had short circuited. I can’t talk or move. I’m back in a bad moment in my life. Fear courses through my body, and I feel icy cold. I keep forgetting to breathe. My boyfriend quickly turns off the TV, but I’m already crying, heaving, choked sobs. I spend the rest of the day trying to scrub that memory out of my head and move on. I have nightmares that night.                                                                          

                                                                           ~~~

I’m in the exam room, waiting for the doctor. I know the doctor is a man, and I’m so tense my jaw hurts. He comes in, bright and cheerful, but my heart sinks when he closes the door. I know it’s normal, routine. I remind myself that my phone is in my lap, he’s a doctor with good intentions, and in ten minutes I’ll be out of here. The doctor, seeing my discomfort, asks if I want a female nurse in the room. I nod quickly, and he calls in a nurse. I’m at ease. She smiles at me and my shoulders relax. After the exam, I take a klonopin and cry in the car.

~~~

PTSD symptoms are different for everyone, of course. Some people experience one symptom more strongly than another. Some people have physical flashbacks, some have emotional flashbacks.
These are real life experiences I’ve had in the past. I’ve been asked what PTSD feels like, and this post is the best way I can explain it. It’s an overwhelming feeling of dread. You don’t feel safe – imagine a tiger is loose in your town, but you don’t know where it is. Crowds makes me anxious, new places and people give me anxiety. Therapy has been a lifesaver, and reasonably forcing myself out of my comfort zone helps immensely. What some people consider simple – grabbing the eggs – is an almost insurmountable task for me. My body is always on high alert, looking for the next threat.
Thankfully, I’ve improved greatly this past year, and these moments are less and less common. Baby steps. ❤